I’m Questioning Myself

Questioning your identity, gender, or sexual orientation is normal. Just like discovering your likes and dislikes, your identity and attraction is a natural part of coming into your own. Questioning can be a frightening experience because we’re often unsure if our feelings are correct, incorrect, if it will be accepted, or unsure how our families and friends will react. At D&R, we see questioning as empowerment. We encourage this time to be explorative, affirming, and a joyful experience.


Asking yourself, “What am I?” is a huge existential question. Instead, we encourage everyone to think about things they like, who they like, and accept that it is perfectly normal to be unsure.


You do not need to 100% sure of your identity. In fact, change is constantly happening around us, within us, between us, and in us. In this process you not only find yourself but you get to create who you are. Don’t be afraid or discouraged to tap into your own curiosity and uniqueness. Gender Spectrum, non-profit organization for LGBTQIA+ youth, says, “Through a thoughtful consideration of the uniqueness and validity of every person’s experience of self, we can develop greater acceptance for all. Not only will this create greater inclusion for individuals who challenge the norms of gender, it will create space for all individuals to more fully explore and express who they are.”


Going Through The Process One Step At A Time


It can be overwhelming asking yourself repetitive questions about your identity. It can even be more stressful when there is pressure from friends, family, teachers, and society. Any change happening all at once is overwhelming. So instead, take it slow. Validate your feelings one day at a time. It takes time to love yourself fully, and that’s the joy of going through this process one step at a time.


The first step in the process is just asking questions about yourself. So already, you’re doing this right! What ever conclusion you come to understand about your sexual orientation or identity, you are right about it. Only you know yourself best. Validate that and know you’re worthy of greatness, you’re still allowed to take time, and you’re still allowed to keep exploring and discovering.


If your identity or orientation changes, that’s okay! Understanding parts of ourselves change all the time and that includes gender, identity, and sexual orientation. It is just one small part of all other facets of life that can, and sometimes should change.